Know who you are, who God created you to be. Know who you are and what you have in Christ.
Recently, I’ve been knee-deep in an amazing bible study, Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman by Beth Moore. This is my first adult bible study and it is rocking my world. No doubt, it’s on purpose. I’ve needed a spiritual jolt in the last few months.
Through this study I’ve learned who Esther was – an orphaned Jewish girl raised by her male cousin and thrust into a beauty contest that landed her right in the middle of being a grown-up, orphaned Jewish girl in secret but the Queen of Persia in the open.
When Esther was faced with the decision to go to and plead with the king to spare the lives of the Jewish people, her people, she was also faced with the reality of an identity collision. Her choice to petition for the Jewish people forced her to face her fears and embrace the past version of herself that wasn’t nearly as glamorous as being Queen of Persia.
I identify with Esther. In a different way, I am a royal heir – to the thrown of grace, of course. Because of Christ, I wear a righteous crown on my head. Not too long ago, I really began embracing this new identity. Afterall, I’ve been made new – chains unbound, freed from sin. I am a new creature in Christ. Yet, so sweetly, the Holy Spirit has been leading me to deal with an identity collision of my own. My past has been dirtied with sin…sexual immorality, drunkenness, bitterness, resentment, anger, selfishness. I’ve made some really poor choices, and even though I’ve been forgiven through the precious blood of Christ, I feel the tug of the Holy Spirit telling me not to forget what I’ve done but to pick it up as my cross and follow Him.
This is a little tricky. It requires facing not only my past but also my fears. The fear that someone might judge me on what I’ve done or even worse the fear that my poor choices would stain my testimony like they have my past.
But here’s the deal…the enemy has already been waging this war in my mind, toying with every emotion I have. And repeatedly my Heavenly Father speaks LOVE over my life reminding me who I am in Him. So why not offer up my life – in its entirety – and let the Holy Spirit make beauty out of the ashes.
In this bible study, Beth Moore writes these words:
“Our natural human defense is to grovel before God and plead with Him not to let those things happen. Our conditional trust not only makes an open target for enemy torment; it also positions us as negotiators and beggars before God instead of secure children who trust their lives to their faithful Father. Those times when our fears become reality we feel devastated. We think God is unfaithful, and Satan essentially gets what he wants – us to believe life is over. Unless our belief system changes, for all practical earthly purposes, it is. Afterall, as a man thinks, so he is. (Prov. 23:7)”
I choose to trust that God knows who I am more than I know myself. So, like Esther, I’ll clothe myself in my royal apparel and walk boldly to the throne, except my journey is to the Throne of Grace.